I get sick of all the New Year’s resolutions people make and then after about ten days, are completely forgotten. I’ve been in the personal development business for twenty years now and I’m just tired of it. “I’m gonna change!” My response: Bet you don’t. Harsh? Probably. Mean? Possibly. Realistic? Absolutely. People lie to themselves. Yeah, they lie to other people too but they lie mostly to themselves. The truth is that people don’t want to change. If they did, they would. And since they don’t change, it’s because they don’t want to – at least not enough to actually make the change. Because change requires work and people would rather do just about anything than work.
So here we are at that time of year where we pretend we want our lives to be different because a mark on the calendar says we ought to evaluate our lives and our results and fix them. Okay, I’ll play along. Let’s talk about resolutions. Here’s my list of ideas for you if you want next year to look different than last year
1. Last year is OVER – let it go. No good comes from dwelling on the past. If you were an idiot, beat yourself up over it a bit, then move on. The past is called that because it has PASSED.
2. Get negative about your life. Don’t pat yourself on the back and tell yourself how great you are. Tell yourself the truth: you could do better if you worked harder! Positive change comes from first getting negative!
3. Focus on accomplishment, not activity. Don’t get bogged down in the busy work. Don’t tell yourself you are making progress just because are tired. You may be spinning your wheels. Check your accomplishments to know if you are really making progress.
4. Write things down. Work from document, not from thought. The good news is that when you write things down, you might find out that things aren’t as bad as you first thought. Of course, you might find out that they are worse too. The key is that you will actually know after you have taken the time to write it down. Remember: Problems get smaller when written down and goals become more tangible. Make a written action plan for each area of your life then go to work.
5. Keep your goals to yourself. Don’t share them with anyone. And don’t say, “He’s my buddy, I can tell him.” No. Or “She’s my wife, she will support me!” Don’t count on it! If you are a couple, set goals together but keep your personal goals to yourself. Even your most trusted confidants keep you from achieving your goals by shaking your confidence with just one negative word.
6. Make sure your goal is actually YOUR goal. People change when they want to, not when someone else wants them to. You won’t lose weight because your wife wants you to. You will lose weight when you want to. You won’t have more money next year because your husband asks you to spend more wisely; you will have more money when you choose to spend your money more wisely. When you decide to change, you will make it a goal, you will sacrifice and you will work all because it is important to YOU.
7. Expect derailment. The motivational gurus won’t tell you this part. They will tell you to keep your eye on the goal and it will all be okay. Chances are it won’t be okay. Crap happens. Welcome to life. You will experience setbacks. Big deal. Get over it and move on. You never trip when you are sitting on your ass. You trip when you are moving! Get moving and be realistic that slips, trips and derailment mean you are taking action!
8. Don’t stop – unless you need to stop. Contradiction? No. Sometimes you discover your goal was a bad goal. You didn’t need a new house or a new car. The timing was bad, the timeline was off, your priorities changed. Again, there is no shame in realizing that your goal just wasn’t right for you at this time and you need to rethink things. Or maybe you need to rest because your life is out of whack because you are working too hard on just one area sacrificing other areas along the way. You’ve lost balance. Stop and rest. Or maybe you need to stop and start over completely because your whole plan of attack was just wrong. Remember, when you find yourself on a dead horse, get off!
9. Regardless of what you decide to work on, decide this: Get smarter. As Jim Rohn used to say, “You would do better, if you knew better.” So get more information. It’s free for the most part and it’s everywhere. Read more books. Talk to more smart people. Go to more seminars. Take a class. Join a discussion group. Listen to more speakers, authors and teachers on CD and DVD. Educate yourself. When you operate from a depth of knowledge, bump that up with a depth of experience and add a good healthy dose of work to the mix, your chances of success go way up!
10. Celebrate. Not just at the end when you achieve your goals, but all along the way as well. Life is too short not to enjoy it. Just don’t get so caught up in the enjoyment and celebration that you undo all of your hard work.
There you go! Achieving more my way. Hope you enjoyed. If you liked only one of the ten, count yourself lucky as it only takes one good idea to change your life. Have a good holiday and remember: You can change any condition in your life if you want to badly enough!
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“This post was originally published for my weekly column at DebtKid.com. You can find the original post here.”
I’m printing this… I will place it above my bed….
Love the article. Right to the point!
Thanks Larry, Started mine back in September. Feel great about my choices.
_____ I Agree 🙂 _____
Larry, I love your direct approach to life. As an Aussie I find it refreshing to listen to your DVD’s and reading your books.
Best wishes for the New Year!!!!
Regards,
Stuart.
Great post Larry. I’ve spent the last 1 1/2 yrs getting my financial life together. Writing it down, is crucial and being aware of what you are doing instead of being on automatic pilot is huge. I made my last payment last month, have no debt, except for a mortgage. Working on that too, refinanced and got it down to 8 yrs. I feel like I bought myself freedom, I can’t describe it. Now I need to work on the next phase, taking better care of myself, I’d better start writing. Necessity is the mother of all invention, when things suck, you have to make them not suck.
I would just add this: Don’t make New Year Resolutions. Use this time to shrewdly assess your progress on your established goals. Let’s face it, you probably aren’t going to make any resolution that you hadn’t already set as a goal. On New Year’s Day sit down with a glass of champagne and a pen and paper. Use this time to reconnect with your goals. Be pragmatic and dispassionate with your actions to fulfill your desires and write down your successes and failures. Toast to your successes and Stooge slap yourself for your failures. When you are done, hopefully you are more drunk than bruised, say goodbye to the previous year and start living the new. Happy New Year!
Great subjects to make!!!!
Very good advices and clear direction!
Thank you Larry and Happy New Year!
You are right. It’a all about YOU.
It seems that you are a ‘nutcracker’ as well, why because many nuts are not easy to crack, although you hit hard and direct.
Keep it up – nuts will crack sooner or later.
Great post, I agree with you completely. I’m reading Your book lately. It gives sooo much power to change! Thanks!
Best regards
Amazing. Great post and at the right time. Keeping up New year resolution’s has always been difficult. I will try your tips and I am sure I amgoing to see the good results of it. Thanks!
I agree…mostly.
I actually think negative does not do much for supporting a new habit. Maybe “be honest” would work better?
I think we need positive support and for some people negative consequences can be helpful.
Here’s to success in 2011
I think you’re right. It’s harder to come up with several goals once a year and try to tackle them all at once.
Hi Larry,
Happy 2011! Thanks for putting some structure under what is often seen as a mystical experience.
Hello Larry. From London UK
Back in my Christian days I remember a quote that Jesus said;
Know the truth and it will set you free. Truth to your self you say,
Very important. Truth in the field of excellence, in all things
All the time.
From a London pub, cheers
David P
I love your advice ! BUT.. How to live with $1000.00 on hand in reality world ? asked 55+ In my town rent cost $599.00 mc
I dont know about any help for 55+ Do you have Larry good news for me?
Margaret
Ditto!! 🙂
Great list Larry but I don’t agree with No 5 … keeping it to yourself… unless you don’t have supportive people around you. I have heard of many cases where having a wall board on display has actually helped with goal achievement by someone saying that they could assist. My bro wanted to do hobie cat sailing and one of his son’s dads saw the display in his study and pointed out that he was like the 5th best hobie sailor in the world and that he would take him out to learn sailing …
I think No 2 has to be used with discretion as well especially for people recovering from crap like divorce etc where they are in a negative space… been there done that !
Mate, always great to get your inspirational thoughts here in Oz. Have a great 2011 !
Mike H
Mike – thanks for the feedback but you gave the very reason I believe so strongly in #3……”unless you don’t have supportive people around you.” EVERYONE has someone negative in their life who would love for them to fail……EVERYONE. There is a lot to be said about my line of thinking on this and I covered in complete detail in several of my books but there simply isn’t room in a list. Suffice it to say that it is best not to share most personal goals with others simply because they are personal. Dream boards and the like are fine but you do set yourself up for a lot of “I told you so’s” and “I knew you couldn’t do it” and “what were you thinking?”
Number 2 is about YOU getting fed up with your life in order to make positive change in your life. I am not advocating wallowing in negativity, just giving yourself a reason to change as we never change from a positive place but only from a negative place.