What’s Right and What’s Wrong With Our Role Models Today?
Five best-selling authors, Speaker Hall of Fame recipients, internationally-acclaimed business consultants and best buddies give their insights on business and life.
From Larry Winget:
Role models are nothing more than a reflection of what we value. When we value honesty, integrity, doing the right thing, morals, good parenting, leadership and hard work, we will have role models who exemplify those values. Since we instead value fame, celebrity, being pretty and living an ostentatious life style those are the role models we find ourselves with. When we elevate our values we will elevate our role models.
It’s fine to admire what a person accomplishes in business, sports or the financial world, but it’s stupid to turn them into a role model unless they are the kind of person you want your child to grow up to be. For instance: Steve Jobs quotes are posted on social media every day as if he a guru of business, yet he screwed over his partners. Some great football players beat their girlfriends. Tiger is the greatest golfer who ever lived but he is not a good guy. Before we hold any person up as a role model, we need to look at more than what they do, what they have and how they look. We must look at who they are and how they live.
Larry Winget, the Pitbull of Personal Development®, is a six-time NYT/WSJ bestselling author, social commentator and appears regularly on many national television news shows. To find out more, go to www.LarryWinget.com.
From Scott McKain:
In 1993, Charles Barkley said something – via a Nike commercial he personally wrote – that was quite astounding.
“I am not a role model. A million guys who can dunk a basketball are in jail. Should they be role models?”
Athletes as role models were formerly appropriate because the press only reported their redeeming qualities. We never heard of Mickey Mantle’s problems with alcohol, Babe Ruth’s womanizing, or Ty Cobb’s racism. Now, we all know of steroid abuse, domestic violence, and drug addiction in sports — as well as entertainment, politics, and about every other walk of life.
Here’s the challenge – separating the message from the messenger.
Jimmy Swaggart failing in his personal life doesn’t mean the Bible was wrong. Michael Jordan may not be a nice guy, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn from his dedication to excellence.
It’s our personal responsibility to determine what we desire to accomplish – then, find a role model who has succeeded in that area, using their standard of performance to motivate us in a specific aspect.
Just as we all have fallen short in our personal endeavors, we have to realize that our role models don’t need to be all-encompassing examples of inspiration.
Scott McKain teaches how organizations and individual professionals can create distinction in their marketplace, and deliver the “Ultimate Customer Experience ®.” For more information: www.ScottMcKain.com
From Randy Pennington:
I had heroes growing up just like every little kid. Along the way, I learned that many of them had feet of clay. That is no different today.
I also had role models. They taught me important life lessons about being productive, responsible, and honorable. If you are lucky, your heroes can also be your role models.
It is difficult for heroes and role models today. Immediate information exposes real life to the world much quicker. It isn’t that the heroes and role models of our youth were so much better than the ones today. It is that the illusion of their goodness is more easily stripped away.
The real problem isn’t a lack of role models. It is us.
We have confused being good at something or famous with being a role model. And, we have decided to celebrate, aspire to, or explain away the character flaws and failures of those we seek to emulate.
My father came to a stop sign on an empty country road. He stopped completely and looked both ways. My mother, telling me this story many years later, asked him why he stopped when no one was around or watching. My father nodded to my brother and I in the back seat and said, “There are four eyes watching my every move.”
That’s a role model and one of my true heroes. Anyone who thinks that is strange, hokey, or old-fashioned is what’s wrong with our role models today.
Randy Pennington helps leaders deliver positive results in a world of accelerating change. To find out more, go to www.penningtongroup.com.
From Joe Calloway:
America’s number one role model is fame.
Sadly, in our society what seems to be admired, prized, and revered more than anything is quite simply fame. If you’re famous, then you’re admired. You can be famous for good, for bad, or just for being famous (Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian). If you’re famous, people will flock to be near you, to have their picture made with you, and many of them will want to be just like you.
How many people choose a teacher or a master carpenter or a single mom working two jobs to provide for her kids as a role model? Not many. More often we admire singers, dancers, movie stars, and anyone who gets on TV. Personally, I don’t get it. What makes someone worthy of adoration or admiration simply because they do their job in front of lots of people?
By the way, you can be a great role model and be famous, but you shouldn’t be a role model because you’re famous.
My role models tend to be great dads. I doubt you’ve ever heard of any of them.
Joe Calloway helps great companies get even better. www.JoeCalloway.com
From Mark Sanborn:
Role models greatly impact learning and development. There’s no debate about that.
Positive role models provide us both example and inspiration. We can see the reality of a life well lived rather than just learn about the abstract concept. In addition to living role models, history also offers a buffet of role models to chose from. (One advantage in choosing role models from history is that you know how their lives ended up.)
The danger is picking the wrong role model. We often confuse greatness with fame. Greatness is about what you give. Fame is about what you get. Contribution is the hallmark of greatness, not attention.
Be careful in selecting your role models, and take just as much responsibility in being the kind of person others would benefit from choosing as a role model for themselves. It might just make you a better person.
Mark Sanborn is president of Sanborn & Associates, Inc., an idea studio for leadership development. He is an award-winning speaker bestselling author of books including, The Fred Factor. For more information and free resources, visit www.marksanborn.com.
You guys are ALL great! Love reading Five Friends.
Really do enjoy the perspective that you all bring to a topic – this one is of particular interest to me. Great comments/observations Larry and Mark (I like the comment about the ‘four eyes always watching’ –
Thanks, guys.
Pat
Great messages across the board today, gentlemen! I am consistently blown away these days as to who (and why) people choose the role models (cough cough) that they choose. Like Joe, I tend to pick people who set the bar high in their personal relationships and leadership qualities. My friend Rodney is about the best Dad I’ve ever known (besides mine) and nobody else will ever know…and he’s just fine with that. I could care less about fame, I just want to be a living breathing example of the best person I can be, just like Rodney. If it inspires others, great. If not, at least I know I am living my life, my way. It’s a quality I picked up from MY role models.
I love Mark’s point about choosing role models from history – you can stand back and evaluate their lives as a whole. I deeply admire Elizabeth I of England and Catherine the Great of Russia for their intellect, life-long dedication to learning, political acumen, fearlessness and complete devotion to their countries, but I’m completely aware of their very real flaws and failings. I’m a big believer in keeping what’s valuable and discarding what isn’t – Elizabeth’s legendary greediness and Catherine’s pursuit of young lovers long into her old age don’t diminish their contributions in my eyes.