Ask Larry Anything: Infidelity & Trust
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In this episode of Ask Larry Anything, Larry answers a question from a woman who wants to move on after her husband’s infidelity.
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Hello Larry,
I am SO with what you said in reply to this woman. My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 9 of them. He has had a tendency to interact with other women in a way I find unacceptable when in a committed relationship. To the best of m knowledge, there have been 4 times. Could there be others? I’m sure but I don’t want to know because that’s in the past and it needs to stay there. He claims he was not emotionally attached and I suppose that is the truth as there are many people who are “friends with benefits”. Each time I’d call him on it and we’d get in a disagreement and I’d end up hurt and devastated. However, the last time I found out was complete serendipity. I won’t go into the exact details however, he was out picking up our son and when he returned I was on the front step waiting for him. I told him in no uncertain terms to, “pack his shit and get the hell out”. He didn’t and I backed off only because we have a son and I have 3 children from a previous marriage. I did set down some rules…1) We WOULD go for counseling 2) I would have complete access to his phone and computer and 3) The complete understanding that this will be the last time. He has complied with all of my demands….this was 2 years ago. Are there times when I remember for whatever reason? You bet. But I’ve not brought it up since then. To the best of my knowledge he’s not done anything of the sort again even though he’s stationed in VA and we live 400 miles away in NJ. My heart and prayers go out to anyone who goes through something like this.
Thanks again,
Pam S.
Well Dr Phil your not but you did better than he would as is my opinion,you told her the truth and left the decision upto her,kudos for you sir.
‘Trust has been destroyed’ – yup – agree with your comment about it being rebuilt ‘as it was’. Been there. Both parties need to commit to the healing/improvement process and yes, it does take time. As Dr. Phil has said …..’it takes …..until….’. Wise words, Larry. There’s a lot to be said for having ‘history’ together.
Good one, Larry.
Pat Mussieux