Change bothers some folks. The very idea of changing their routines or habits makes their poor little hearts beat harder. Usually, it is because they are so comfortable in the rut they have dug, that even if they are headed down the wrong path, they will stay on it because it doesn’t involve any change.
People sit in room they hate because they don’t have the energy or the inclination to change the furniture around or to paint the room. People are afraid to look in the mirror or step on the scale because they know they are overweight and to change their result, they would have to change the way they eat. I know people who are afraid to go to the doctor for fear of finding something wrong simply because it would change their lifestyle. This list could go on and on. You can think of dozens of ways people you know fear change. You probably even have areas in your life that you are afraid to change.
As for me, I love change. I have routinely moved offices every couple of years. I move houses a lot too. I would buy a new house and move every two years if I could talk my wife into it. I have lived in my current house for five years which is nearly an all time record for me. Change is exciting to me. It gives me a chance to clean up and clean out and to go to work on a new space. It’s like starting over physically and psychologically. I make changes in my personal life as well. I like to try new things and go new places and do things I haven’t done before.
However, the reality is that most people won’t change – even when they know they should. Why? Lots of reasons. Fear is certainly one of them.
Years ago I read a great little book called, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Read the book when you can, but just internalize the title for right now. You are going to be afraid when facing anything new. No way around it. I am afraid quite a bit of the time. Yep, even me. When I appeared on CNBC’s The Millionaire Inside as ‘one of the world’s leading money mentors’ along with David Bach, Jennifer Openshaw, Keith Ferrazzi and Robert Kiyosaki, I felt some fear. I am totally confident when I walk on stage to do my speaking no matter who the group is or how big the group is or what topic I am going to speak about. I never think twice about it. When I was shooting my show, Big Spender, I was always confident in what I was going to do and I never broke a sweat over the experience. However, this was different. I was in a foreign environment with renowned experts, and I was going to need to hold my own on the topic of money. My heart was beating a little hard. Despite the internal questions I had about my ability, I walked out on that stage with confidence, grabbed a stool and did quite well. In fact, looking back at it all, I was pretty amazing. I was scared but I blew through the fear and conquered the situation. I felt the fear, but I did it anyway.
While I am often afraid of what I have to do, I am even more afraid of not doing it. In People Are Idiots And I Can Prove It, I wrote about the ten ways people sabotage their lives, with one of those being “Not Recognizing Consequences.” Every action has a consequence. Some have positive consequences and some have negative consequences. Some consequences are slow to feel and some are immediate. But every NON-action has a consequence too.
If there are no immediate external consequences for non-performance, I create my own. No, I don’t punish myself or ground myself for not doing something. I just create the consequence of disappointment. I am disappointed when I don’t achieve what I set out to achieve. However, not when I’ve done my best. I never beat myself up for doing my best. I am only disappointed in myself when I have done less than my best. And not doing my best is usually the reason I didn’t accomplish what I set out to do.
However, the real disappointment for me is when I don’t achieve something simply because I have been too afraid to even give it a shot.
To begin a journey and not make it is forgivable.
Not to begin the journey at all is unforgivable.
What is the worst that could happen?
This is the question I always ask myself when I am afraid to do something. If the worst that can happen is, “I’m going to die,” then I don’t do it. But that is rarely the answer to anything I am going to attempt. Usually the worst that can happen is that I won’t do as well as I had hoped for. Or I might embarrass myself. Is that really so bad? Even if I do it and do it badly, it is better than if I had never attempted it. So I go for it. You aren’t going to die from going after more success, happiness and prosperity either. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Then go for it. Besides, the worst thing that could happen rarely happens anyway.
Dara Torres, the swimmer, won a Silver Medal during the 2008 Olympics at the age of 41. I watched her in an interview with Matt Lauer where the topic was her age in comparison to other Olympic contenders. She said, “The water doesn’t know what age you are so just jump in and go for it.” The same applies to you as well. Life doesn’t know, or care, how old you are or what other excuse you are clinging to so just jump in and go for it.
Don’t worry that you don’t know everything. Don’t get caught up in what might happen or might not happen. Don’t be paralyzed by fear. Don’t concern yourself with what others think. In fact, don’t over-think the decision at all. When an antelope hears a lion roar, he doesn’t continue to graze and think about whether he should run or not. He runs. No thought is involved. He instinctually moves. Become like the antelope because the lion is roaring. Move. Make taking action instinctive.
“The way to do things is to begin.” – Horace Greeley
Do you know of changes you need to make in your life? Chances are you do. Then follow these simple ideas and get started. Face your fears and do it anyway.
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You’re so damn right! Thanks for this one!
You Know, I was so glad to read this because I feel the same.
Every time I try to explain to others my love for change, (moving to a new home, live in a different country (did it 3 times), they look at me somehow astonished. And just for the records it’s a fact that when you decide to make a change in your life, the odds of success are greater then failure. Researches shown that most people succeeded when they made a significant change in their lives.
One more thing, when I think of change it makes me feel good, like a rush of adrenalin when driving super fast, on a super fast car, but for most it feels more like a panic attack/ anxiety, so first step try and manage to transform your feeling of nervousness to a feeling of excitement (fine line their). Hope it helps!
“Courage is a decision, Fear is a reaction”.
Thanks for telling the truth. The second most difficult thing
is to actually hear the truth. I am no longer living the same
life since I read “You’re Broke Because You Want to Be” earlier this year. I slammed the brakes on my spending, but I was still in denial because I made 2 attempts to get a debt consolidation loan through credit unions. Unfortunately, (or fortunately), it was already too late for me, and I am now participating in a debt management plan through a credit counseling agency. The first words out of my credit counselor’s mouth were, “Congratulations on hanging on.” Quite frankly, I wish I would have “given up” my foolish ways earlier. I paid a high price for maintaining the illusion I was keeping up with my bills. At least now I know how and when I will get out of debt. Thanks for all that you do!
Right now with the way the economy is people are having a hard time changing.This is the wake up that America needs.People over spending and living off of credit cards and then blaming on Wall Street,The Banks,The Mortgage Companys
“Courage is very important.Like a muscle,it is strengthened by use.”
Get the courage to change.
Larry,
I enjoyed reading your piece. As I get older I do realize that change is not a bad thing at all. In fact, my father used to always tell me while I was growing up, he said when you go to make any big decision, ask yourself these three questions – 1. What’s the best that can happen? Secondly, what’s the worst that can happen? And finally, what will most likely happen and can you live with that?
I’ve been doing that all my life. And as you said, if you’re not going to die from it, then give it a try. Always enjoy your writings and love all your books.
Jeff
Larry,
I work with people that fear change like the plague. We have about 10% of the organization that thrives on true, REAL change. Guess what… those 10% are the people that succeed in the business. I keep a poster in my office stating… “COURAGE, Nothing noble is done without Risk” I look at it everyday when I walk into the office. Thanks for posting the above on fear. I’ve been listening to your books on CD in the car in the past month, really enjoying them and seeing results!
Thanks Larry!!! , Jeremy
Larry,
You are always such an encouraging kick in the butt!
I had endured 14 abdominal surgeries in the 9 years since my son was born, by a surgeon that has since lost his license. Quite literally, it’s a statistical miracle I’m even alive!!
After each surgery, I would work to reclaim my health, excercise, lose weight… then BLAMMO. Another surgery. More confinement to bed/couch. More weight gain from being sedentary. Time after time I repeated this cycle, until I tired and grew weary… and my health suffered. My figure suffered. My self-confidence suffered. I hid from the world, afraid of people’s criticism because I had gotten obese.
It got to the point where I was afraid to do most anything.. but no more.
I am facing surgery #15 (to reverse damage from previous surgeon), and am working out, right up until the day I go in. This time, I’m not letting a surgery (not to mention being a victim of an unscrupulous physician) become an excuse for failure. I am resolved to not only endure but triumph. I see the fear for what it is: an attempt to rob me of my joy. An attempt to render me useless and without a message. (Can you tell I believe in spiritual warfare?)
I thank you for your clear, concise messages. I thank you for speaking plainly. I thank you for blazing the trail.. showing us that most of the fear that holds us back is nothing but smoke and mirrors.
God bless you, Larry. Rock on.
Elizabeth
Larry,
Well written……..To grow and improve your life you do
need to “feel the fear”…..That’s your internal self’s
way of letting you know your growing. And at the
age of 51, I appreciate the comments from Dara
Torres. The water doesn’t know how old you are.
Or phrased another way, don’t worry what others
think so much as what in your gut you really want
to accomplish.
Or as you mention in your new book, “it’s not your
business what others think about you”….
……………………………………… Jimster
Hello Larry, I enjoy reading your books and listening to your audio CD’s. My whole company needs this material. I have sent the sound bits to the major players in my company and they still don’t get it, but I do.
I am not sure if you knew, on “Ugly Betty” one of the main actors is having money troubles and was reading your book “You’re Broke because you want to be” on the show. That’s Great.
Take Care and Keep it Between the Lines. Bill
“What is the worst that could happen?
This is the question I always ask myself when I am afraid to do something. If the worst that can happen is, “I’m going to die,” then I don’t do it.”
Actually, my employment and hobbies have similar worst case outcomes…death. Many people have very risky jobs and enjoy dangerous hobbies. If your approach is reckless then you’re stupid. If you use a systematic approach and properly manage the risks then you are going about it correctly.
Do I have fear sometimes? Absolutely! Fear is a natural feeling that will sometimes keep you alive. The opposite of fear is control. Control allows you to enjoy things that others will classify as dangerous and crazy. Control allows you to try different things and even enjoy change.
Press on Larry!
I like change also. I do not want to move to experience the change like you do. I enjoy playing with my property for a hobby. It is enjoyable to me to grow citrus trees and flowering plants in my yard. Some changes can be observed on a daily basis and others over the years. I guess it takes all kinds to make this world.
Larry, I’ve been a big fan of yours since my brother gave me your book, Stop Whining and get a life. I copied your prosperity affirmation and keep it taped to my wall. I saw you at Home Depot the other day as you were leaving. I doubled back to say hi but it was too darn late and you pulled off. Thanks for all your inspiration!
Mitch
Why aren’t you doing the Big Spender TV show anymore? I Love that show. I have your next cadidate, my friend Jeannette.
I have read You’re Broke because you want to Be” two times in a row. It has really helped me learning that I choose to do the things I do it doesnt just happen to me. Now I have set up a plan to get out of debt and started to use quicken a free online money management program. I have a dilema now. I will be receiving large bonus from my company and I am not sure where I should put the money.
I have $24K in student loans at 6% monthy payment $212
I have $12 K car loan at 4% monthly payment is $365
I have $28K in credit card debt all cards at 0% until July except for 2 cards. One card is at 9% with $3K and the other is at 10% with $5K. I pay over minimum currently a total of $850 a month.
We are going through a refi right now that will save us $275 a month and will increase the amount i pay towards my credit card debt to $1125 a month.
I have been making so many changes and feel that I am going down the right path. I want to make sure I am doing the best thing in where I apply this $17K bonus.
Advice?
Thank you
D
D, Take the 17 k bonus and use 12k to pay off your car. Put 5 k in the bank and do not use it unless it is an emergency. A TRUE EMERGENCY!!!!!! Take the 365.00 payment you no longer have and put towards student loan. I would actually pay minimum toward credit card right now and put everything you can to get the student loan paid off in 6 months! Then put all you can toward credit cards so they are paid in 6 months. You will be out of debt in a year and still have 5 grand in bank. Once you are out of debt, continue to make the payment to yourself and you will begin to build true wealth. Never borrow money again unless it is for a house you can afford with a fixed rate. Good luck
Larry’s NOTE: I am a big believer in having as much cash on hand as possible. I also am opposed to credit card debt. Student loan debt won’t wreck your credit and they are easier to deal with on repayment. Pay off those credit card debts ASAP and then cut them up so you won’t use them again. Keep one for an extreme emergency. Keep the cash in the bank and draw down on it if you must to double up on principal payments on your car.
Thank you so much for your great advice. I have read that sometimes people have such a large debt that they should take their money from savings and the money they are putting in their savings towards the debt to hurry up and get out of the debt. I only have $4k in savings and put over $400 a month in my savings. I really don’t want to take money out of my savings but will stop putting money in my savings to hurry up and get out of debt. Or do you think I should do both?
My goal is to get out of all my debt in 2 years. I think that if I do both I will be out of credit card debt by October. I will then be able to take those monthyl credit card payments toward my car and have that paid off in another 5 months leaving just my student loans to tackle.