I attended a charity event this last weekend in Scottsdale, Arizona where I live. It was held partially inside and partially outside. The temperature was in the high 70’s. It was a fairly pricey little function to attend and I guess there were maybe five or six hundred people there. The suggested attire on the invitation said, “Sophisticated Chic – Dress To Impress.” While it wasn’t specific, I understood what it meant as I am sure most of you do. But I was amazed at the number of people who thought that the rest of us were going to be impressed by their sophisticatedly chic t-shirts, shorts and Croc sandals. Come on people – be appropriate! What goes on in the mind of people when they get ready to go to ANY event other than a kegger on the beach where you think Sophisticated Chic means you can wear a t-shirt and shorts?
I am sick of the lack of couth people show when they go out in the evenings. . . especially when dining out in nice restaurants. As I said, I live in Scottsdale, Arizona – it’s hot – HELL hot most of the time but that doesn’t mean that it’s okay to wear shorts 24-7. The same thing applies in Vegas – the Rat Pack would roll over in their graves if they witnessed the crappy way people dress when they go to the casino. I’m not against being comfortable by any means. But if we were all going for comfort, wouldn’t we all just wear muumuus? You know, like they do at Wal-Mart?
I like shorts – I wear them a lot: like to the beach and to play golf when it’s over 110 degrees or to a ball game or out during the daytime just about any place. That is any place except where it isn’t appropriate. And the one place where shorts are NEVER appropriate is when dining out after dark in a restaurant. (Yeah, I know, there are some restaurants where it is okay – use your head – those aren’t the restaurants I am talking about and you know it. Hooters ain’t where I’m talking about here!)
Here are some rules for when to wear long pants:
If the place you are dining has cloth napkins, you need to wear long pants.
If there are two forks on the table, you need to wear long pants.
If your wife or date is wearing high heels, you need to wear long pants.
If you are wearing black socks, you need to wear long pants.
If your shorts ride up between your thighs and into your crotch because you are too fat, you need to wear long pants.
If the restaurant takes reservations, you need to wear long pants.
If the entrée costs more than $10, you need to wear long pants.
If they DON’T say, “you want fries with that?” you need to wear long pants.
If it’s dark outside, you need to wear long pants.
If the restaurant does NOT have a drive-up window, you need to wear long pants.
If they have valet parking, you need to wear long pants.
If they escort you to your table, you need to wear long pants.
If your bill comes in a folder, you need to wear long pants.
If no one else is wearing shorts, you needed to wear long pants.
If the invitation says, “Sophisticated Chic – Dress To Impress,” you need to wear long pants.
Grow up foks! You aren’t a little kid any longer . . . it’s time to put on your big boy pants and look like a grown up.
ON THE MONEY!
Thanks because I thought it was just me Larry. I live on the beach in San Diego and like you, I wear shorts most of the time. But there are times when you need to put on a pair of long pants and shoes with socks and yeah, a shirt that has some buttons on it. I think people have just lost so much self-respect that they would wear their pajamas 24/7 if they thought they could get away with it.
I’m actually old enough that I remember when people used to dress up a little when they got on an airplane to take a trip. It was special and it felt good to get cleaned up and go to the airport. Now, unless you get in first class, riding in coach is like taking a bus trip in a third world country.
A few years ago my wife and I went to see the Gipsy Kings here in San Diego. We got dressed up and went to dinner before the show. Once we got to the Sports Arena we saw that the crowd was predominantly Hispanic, and everyone was dressed up! It was obviously a special occasion to many of them and everyone looked like they had just come from a sophisticated charity event! It felt so good to be out in a crowd of people that had enough self-respect to take a few minutes to get cleaned up before an evening out.
I’m glad to see somebody else shares my disdain for just plain bad manners in the style department. I believe too many parents have failed their children by not teaching them good and decent manners in how to deal with society and social expectations. Too much permissiveness, perhaps a hold over from the 60’s and 70’s and the end result is having to go out for a nice dinner, only to see some ill mannered lout in shorts or in my mind worse still, a lousy baseball cap worn inside and in a restaurant.
“If there’s no clown on the menu, take off the damn hat!!”
Thanks. I need to vent a bit….
Next up: Hoodies
Skip, I know what you mean. Whenever you go to a show by any Latino act, at any kind of venue, the women especially are dressed to the teeth. Long cocktail dresses, upswept hair, jewels and all.
Larry, my dates rarely wear high heels… 😉 but I definitely hear ya!
Based on your description it sounds like I would have to wear pants to Applebees. Come on!!
Geez, why is it such a hardship to WEAR PANTS?
Laurie, You’re not a guy. It must be a guy thing. I wear slacks all the time being in sales so I look forward to when I can slip on some comfortable shorts. I know when it is appropriate to wear shorts though- I am not an idiot. Unless you talk to my wife of course.
Brian,
I am not a guy either. Women look forward to changing out of a dress or pants and into shorts as well. I am not going to call you an idiot because it looks like your wife has already taken care of it – and it sounds like you do know when to wear your big boy pants.
Comfort for one person does not need to create discomfort for another, especially at the dinner table.
But Brian, women also have the option to wear inappropriate outfits, do we not? (And far too many of us choose that option, I’m afraid.) I would think it’s just as ludicrous for a woman to wear shorts to this event, or to the type of place Larry is describing. It’s not just a guy thing.
Although yes, you do have a valid point. A woman can of course wear a dress or skirt. BUT–as some women never seem to get–bare legs are NOT acceptable everywhere. If you’re at a decent event (or a business event) and wearing a skirt or dress, your legs should be covered by pantyhose. Which is much the same as wearing slacks.
Basically all adults should have some kind of awareness about what’s appropriate and what’s not. It continually amazes me that people get to a certain age and still don’t know how to present themselves properly in public.
Laurie, You are right. I am always amazed when I see women in a business setting and they are wearing a super sexy dress with heels and no pantyhose. I do enjoy the initial eye candy ( I am a guy-what else would you expect from me) but don’t they realize they will never have the same credibility as if they dressed appropriately. Women and men who want to be taken seriously need to dress appropriate for the occasion. Don’t dress like you are going to a bar when going to a business meeting. You know us men are easily distracted!!!
Wearing a business suit (the type with a skirt) with no pantyhose is even worse. Ugh. Even if a woman has nice legs–which most don’t–that is SO inappropriate. A nice, or even sexy, dress with heels and no pantyhose at the “cocktail party” portion of the event is OK. But at a meeting, conference, trade show etc., NO BARE LEGS. EVER.
I have been living in country areas for many years now, and I have to dress down not to stick out when I’m shopping in Wal-Mart. Even the shorts and T-shirts I buy there feel dressed up when I go there! Why? Because they’re new, they fit, and no body parts are hanging out. It’s even worse at Lowe’s. There, to look right I need to be covered in dirt and/or paint.
Cross the river to a more affluent state, and I’d better be wearing clean clothes, showing less of my legs, and sporting jewelry.
But that’s what appropriate is all about. I don’t go to the opera in flip flops.
I am so glad you posted this! I just recently moved from Orange County CA to the Phoenix area and I am amazed at how many people dress like they are going to go wash their car and not out to a nice place to eat.
I am used to getting dressed nicely and wearing full make up when I leave the house for the day. Here I have found myself feeling over dressed when I am wearing capris and nice sandals. I’m sure a lot of it has to do with the heat, but in reading the previous posts, it sounds like its happening all over.
Thanks for putting out the reminder!
We seem to have the same problem in rural Australia. Especially in the under 40 age groups. “Near and tidy”: what’s that?
Anyway, has anyone ever noticed how much better you get treated as a customer when you’ve put an effort into your appearance? Try going into
5 shops with no makeup, hair so-so, tracksuit pants and T-shirt. Not dirty or anything, just lazy. Then, go and clean up i.e. change clothes, do hair (and face), and then go back to those same shops within an hour or two of the first visit. You’ll be amazed at the difference in treatment!
I didn’t even know who this guy Larry Winget is. I just surfed into this website. And his attitude made me curious to find out more about him. It seems he thinks he is too intelligent, too sophisticated, too good.. Oh yeah? Where did you grow up Larry? In the south? Where did you go to school? Where did you go to college? Harvard? Princeton? Where did you go for graduate studies? What company did you start? Other than the “personal development” talk shows?
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. You seem to be teaching a lot of people how to do things, how to get better.. bla bla.. So you teach, huh?
Get out there are try DOING something, like start a Google? or start an Apple? Or a Southwest? Or Ebay? What has this guy done????? Other than opening his mouth and talking?
And he is oh so sophisticated to be commenting about etiquette… Hey may be you should move to NYC and attend some of the balls and dances, and then you might come across as sophisticated. May be you should stop shaving your head, and start shaving your chin, and put on white/blue shirts with dark suits. May be, just may be, then you’ll be on your way to sophistication.
. Hey Noname…….
. Thanks for your comments. You know all about me from my website? Must be a better website than I thought. I really don’t claim to be “too intelligent, too sophisticated or too good.” In fact, in all of my books I point out what a bone-head I’ve been. And yes, I grew up in the South and I’m damn proud of it. Noname, you should spend a buck or two and read one of my books and you will know where I went to school, which companies I started and all the things you seem to think measure success. (By the way, I went to Northeastern Oklahoma State University with a double major in Psychology and Library Science. I missed Harvard and Princeton as I was working my way through college as a telephone operator in Muskogee, Oklahoma on the night shift.) Does it take starting a Google, or Southwest or Apple or Ebay to be successful? Guess I missed that measurement of success. ( I did start a little telecommunications company that was extremely successful. I then messed up and it went into bankruptcy taking me with it. I then started another one which did pretty well. I did some house-flipping, owned a cigar company, have owned a successful seminar company for twenty years and been a pretty successful entrepreneur on a few other ventures too. Admittedly all small potatoes compared to Google, Apple and Southwest but it did leave me a multi-millionaire so I’m not going to complain. By the way, I shop on Ebay a lot, does that count?) Most of the happy, successful, prosperous people I know are regular folks who decided to make something of their lives. The majority don’t have college degrees. The majority don’t attend balls and dances in New York City. And the majority of the millionaires I know don’t wear white/blue shirts and dark suits. Once you become as successful as you want to be, you can dress pretty much like you want to. You can even shave your head and grow a goatee and wear custom cowboy shirts and boots that cost more than most custom made suits. Oh yeah, I’m not interested in “coming across as sophisticated – I’d rather come off as authentic. So Mr. Noname, your view of success is pretty narrow by my terms and those of us who have busted our asses to make something of our lives. By the way: Sometimes, those who do, actually do. But almost always, those who can’t, end up writing anonymous critiques of others.
. Have some balls and use your name next time.
All the best to you and all your noname friends and family.
Larry
Hallelujah!!!! I’m in my 20s and live in southern California…..and yes, I STILL totally agree with this post!
I google’d “If there is nobody coming over, do I have to wear pants.” I hit feeling lucky and here I am. I agree with you for the most part. I wear shorts a lot and really do not care what people think about me, but there are some places that just require a little more class. I am a partner in a successful company and you would not be able to tell it from the way I dress, and I like to keep it that way. Thanks for your time
Couldn’t imagine this article being said much better….
As a mid 20’s man who just moved from St. Louis, MO, to Long Beach, CA, I have definitely seen style in many forms. My wife and I have noticed all too often when we try to “go out” that everyone dresses like they are just hanging out in their house. We like to get dressed up to go eat, see a movie, or fly, and often times get looked at quite strangely.
Also mentioned was the notion of women neglecting the trashiness of the bare leg look. I grew up doing musicals where every single woman in the company wore tights on stage and many times the men did too, and I have to say that the only reason wearing pantyhose would be uncomfortable is because you have the wrong size on, or by the cheapest pairs you can find. Sheer hose are no warmer than slacks or even jeans in the SoCal weather so don’t give me that excuse. Better yet, go old school and wear a garter or stay up stockings. Bottom line, bare legs on a woman in a nice setting is the equivalent to a man in shorts at a formal event.
Don’t even get me started on everyone wearing flip flops as if they were dress shoes just because someone bedazzled them…
Obviously, wearing a suit to every restaurant you go to is kind of overkill, but a man wearing pants and a nice shirt with a woman in a dress or skirt and pantyhose is becoming more and more scarce. My wife and I do what we can to “class up” wherever we go…not to seem pompous or anything like that, but just to show a little dignity and respect.