Is holiday shopping right for you this year? You may think that holiday shopping is for everyone, but sorry, it isn’t. And this year, more than any other time in recent history, I am asking that people consider some things before they shop.
I did several interviews yesterday about Black Friday and people who were out at the crack of dawn looking for bargains. My position was that people should stay home and consider their situation before they rush out to hit the stores, unless they could truly afford to be out shopping. It was fun for the interviewers to portray me as a total Scrooge and I am sure they would have loved for me to say “Bah Humbug!”
In reality, I am not a Scrooge at all. I love to buy presents! I love to shop. I love for others to shop. I like for the stores to do well and for kids to get lots of presents and for everyone to have a great time exchanging gifts. But for economists to advise that shopping is good for our economy is short-sighted. It may be good for THE economy, but is it right for YOUR economy? That’s the real question. Is shopping the right thing for you to do with your money right now given your personal economic situation?
Back to shopping and whether it is right for you: If your obligations are all met and you have CASH left over, then shop. It’s that simple. If you can afford to shop, get after it. AFTER your obligations are met. What are your obligations? Your bills, saving for the future and being charitable.
Obligation #1. Your bills. That includes the money you have already spent and owe someone else. Your credit cards. (Many people are still paying for last year’s Christmas presents.) Your mortgage, car payment, insurance, utilities, etc. are also your obligation. Your obligation to these people does not go away because it’s Christmas and you didn’t plan better and set aside any extra money for Christmas. Pay your bills first!
Obligation #2. Your future. Save some money – no excuses – just do it. You are obligated to put away money for your kid’s future, for your retirement, and for health emergencies. You have always heard, “Save for a rainy day.” Folks, the sky is full of dark clouds and thunder right now . . . SAVE! You have to be taking care of your future today. Even though you want to buy presents with your money, do the right thing for your family and save at least SOME of your money.
Obligation #3. Charity. While I am a “life is your own damn fault” and “no bail-out for anyone” kind of guy, I also believe there are people, who through no fault of their own, need our help. That means that they need my help and YOUR help. Give to some qualified charity because I really see it as your obligation as a human being to do so. My favorite charity is Feed The Children (www.feedthechildren.org). I have done lots of research on this organization and they are rock solid. They feed children around the world. You can even earmark the area of the world where you want your contribution spent or you can designate that your money be used to feed children only in the United States. It takes so little to feed so many. Give to them or any of the other fine charities that help feed and clothe people.
Then . . . IF you have done those three things and have CASH left over, go shopping. But scale back on the number of presents this year if money is an issue for you. Sadly, Christmas has become the time of year when you spend money you don’t have to buy presents you don’t like for people you can’t stand. Stop that trend this year. Buy for those you really love and care about. Be thoughtful in your gift selection. Buy one present instead of ten. Make your gifts. Use Craigslist and eBay to get bargains on pre-owned items.
When I was broke and had gone bankrupt and lost it all, I had a garage sale and took a total of $50 to the Army Surplus Store to buy my two boys their presents for Christmas. Just the other day, my boys told me that was their best Christmas ever. It’s not how much you spend, it’s how well you spend it. Stretch your dollar this year. And if you are still strapped for cash, sell some of your old stuff to raise cash. And please notice that I said CASH left over. Whatever you do, please don’t go into debt to buy presents this year. The time is not right to go deeper in debt for any reason. Have a talk with your family, (even the little kids) and shoot ‘em straight about your financial situation. I didn’t grow up with much and my parents did this with me several times when things were particularly tough and I completely understood. I didn’t care for me that much but I hated it for them because I knew they were embarrassed. But it put me on the team and made me feel like I could be a part of making things better.
Christmas is about giving.
Give to those you owe money because you gave your word you would pay it back on time.
Give to your future by saving some money today.
Give to those who have even less than you do.
Give to your family the gift of honesty by communicating to them what your situation really is.
Then do what it takes to have a great holiday season full of love, knowing that you have done the right thing by your family and your self.
I am also including a podcast conversation with my good buddy, Mark Sanborn. Sanborn is the bestselling author of several books and a true friend. You have enjoyed his insights on my member’s site, I’m sure. This time, we just have a great conversation about the holidays, what they mean and what you can do to enjoy them more and keep them in perspective.
Click here: Simple Solutions to the Holidays
Happy Holidays! Larry
One of the lessons I’ve learned from over two decades of teaching in early childhood education – is kids would much rather have their parents undivided attention than any toy …
I also agree that Christmas is about giving.
A concept that has been gone from our culture for much too long.
And needs to be modeled for our children to see in their own homes.
It’s pretty rotten – the things our kids are witnessing.
It’s time for more personal responsibility in our finances … and a little compassion for those less fortunate than us!
Kids may forget that special toy they just have to have but they will never forget the time you spend with them. And not that ‘Quality” time you have penciled in you Dayplanner on a certain day. My kids have forgotten piles of stuff but still remember the summers they spent with their mom chasing me all over the United States. They are pushing 30 but still can do the Mayfly Dance they had to to one 4the of July in Dubuque Iowa when we were watching the fireworks and there was a hatch of Mayflys. They were everywhere. My daughter and her brother had to show her daughter the way they ran and waved their arms to keep the swarms of Mayflys off them while the fireworks went off over the Mississippi River.
Things like that cannot ever be paid for with $$$. I learned the hard way, stuff goes. If you are having to work overtime to put food on the table or a roof over your family’s head then that is time well spent. If you are working overtime to buy some plastic crap, that is wasted time!
Where I come from, the holidays are a time to spend with those people we love – our family – especially folks whom we get to see only a few times a year. It makes for great memories when you can’t be together. Family means a lot to me – as it does with most folks – they are the foundation of who we are as people. Some people are not so fortunate to have relatives who love them and care about them – so their friends tend to be their family. I guess I am one of the more fortunate ones – it’s something to be thankful for.
Ouch, that really hurt to read.
So many have forgotten that Chrismas is the celebration of the birth of Christ…….what would Jesus want us to do?, what did he teach us to do………I think donations to people and animals in need is what we should give our money to.
Christmas, as too many people celebrate it, has turned out to be an act based more on selfishness and ignorance in disguise.
I hope this changes, because there are more people in need than not.
Centuries of bad habit are hard to fix, but are fixable.
Larry,
I must say I have been a huge fan since my great uncle Bernie gave me your book “Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life.” It was a true eye opener for me, I too take a straight forward approach in life and in my coaching business.
As for this topic, well.. the wife and I had already decided this year to scale everything back, not due to economic crisis going on around us, but simply to be more fiscally responsible. We have informed all those whom we share the holidays with and they are fine with it, in fact we have heard compliments for doing so. It is great to hear your take on the whole Holiday Spending, with the mass media trying to inform us that it is our civic duty to: spend spend spend!
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you and yours.
Cheers,
Coach Joe
Words of wisdom, Larry, thank you… Having read “It’s Called Work for a Reason” as well as “You’re Broke Because You Want to Be”, that’s what my idea for the holidays was going to look like as well… It’s funny, just about a couple of hours ago, before reading this entry, I calculated how much money I would normally spend on Christmas presents this year, then donated that entire amount to the World Food Programme. Why buy things for people that they can buy for themselves, when there are people who need more immediate help?
All the best to everyone on here, be safe,
Alex
Larry,
We are celebrating our third Cash Christmas this year. We are up to date on our bills – our credit card is empty, have put some money in the bank, and are now spending ONLY what we have left over. Which is less than in year’s past.
Funny thing is, all of my family is doing the same – not spending money they can’t afford, and not buying crap that nobody wants.
I used to have a boss that worked 16 hour days, and always complained that his wife was always on him for never being home.
“But I need to provide for my family- get them the things they need, and send them to good schools”
Problem was, “things they need” was every kind of plastic-crap-fall-apart-in-ten-minutes imaginable. What they needed was a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, heat, power, and love. Unfortunately, what they were getting was an extravagant house and a whole lotta Hasbro and Fisher Price.
Oh well.
Thanks for the great thoughts as usual.
I’m in the trenches this year…no money to pay for the things I need…but I’m working on that! Gifts are not an option this year and it works out well since my baby is only 1. All I want to do this year is string popcorn and laugh over a cup of spiced cider. It’s true, you make the holidays with the time you spend with loved ones, not the gifts! It feels like a trained response, holiday season means hunt for sales and fight with crowds and find a thoughtful gift. How about a holiday card from an old friend with an update on “things”? So my plan this year is to take the PTO and spend it with family cooking and laughing and writing a couple of notes to some dear old friends. As for the baby, well, she’s entertained by the wrapping paper and tissue any way…so I’ll wrap a box of tissue paper and ribbon so she “has” something the to open.
Happy Holidays to everyone looking at a bright future!
Larry:
The only thing I’m planning on buying this month is your new book. And that’s *my* present. We haven’t really “done” Christmas in my family for years.
The happiest Christmas I ever had was when I was about 6 or 7. We were all together and we had food. My Mom gave me a Baby Alive Doll, Aunt Helen and Uncle Smith gave me food for her, Grandma made her a couple of outfits and a little quilt, and Grandpa made her a bed. That was it, but I was pleased as punch. Of course, I had never been told I was supposed to get 500 hundred toys, an entire wardrobe, and a dvd of every movie ever made.
I used to work as a nanny, and one of my tasks in one job was to wrap the presents the mother gave to the kids. I kept count. There were 95 packages, not counting the unwrapped candies and small toys that went in the stockings. This was not a rich family, but a divorced mother who was barely making ends meet and could pay me almost nothing. The kids already had toys out the wazoo and didn’t appreciate most of what they had. It was ridiculous!
Lili
Christmas is leaner this year than it has been in awhile (and yes I own the stupidity that lead me to this situation). Therefore “Santa” is only bringing my kids one meaningful gift each this year – items that will grow with them, not be disposed of in a week. The rest of the family/friends know my situation and know not to expect anything except our love and gratitude for their friendship and support this holiday season. I find that it is actually a relief not to have to shop for everyone – and I think from now on I will make annual charitable donations in certain family members names for the holidays – not only will I be helping others, and not having to fight holiday lines, but I hope it will encourage those relatives/friends to give as well.
Thankyou for the continued support during the holidays Larry.
Common sense for times like these.
Love,
Neil
Thanks Larry! Our family has already agreed to scale back our Christmas giving this year. I am buying a small gift each for my grandchildren and my children and I have agreed that our gift to each other this year would be our share of the rental on a condo for our big family reunion coming up this summer. We would rather be together than have a bunch of presents we probably won’t remember a couple months from now.
Ask yourself if you can remember what you got for Christmas last year or what you gave your kids? Ask them if they can remember what they got? Then as them what their favorite part of Christmas is? What is yours?
Thanks again Larry and I will be buying your new book.
Karen
Dear Larry,
As a person who has coached the super-wealthy and those struggling to stay afloat, I applaud your advice. It is so refreshing to hear someone speak truth about money as you always do.
You call people to personal responsibility, accountability, and integrity.
You help people discover the sources of present and attainable wealth in their lives.
May I ask you to add a “favorite charity” to your list?
http://www.modestneeds.org is your kind of charity, Larry. One guy started it out of his modest teacher’s salary. Now it’s grown into a seven figure international operation. What does it do? It helps hardworking people with emergency money when they’re in a fix. Regular folks are also the ones who send in most of the contributions.
Just go to their website, Larry, and you’ll see. http://www.modestneeds.org are your kind of people, from the ones who run it to the ones who fund it to the ones who turn to it in a time of need and find a friend – maybe even a whole community.
Disclosure – I gave them a lot of money this year.
Thanks for all you do, Larry.
Ruth Ann Harnisch
It seems like everyone is in such a rush this time of year… Buy this, save a dollar on that… But me, I like to just kick back, and put on some good ol’ fashion music that reminds me if the true meaning of Christmas… Like, Hear Comes Santa Claus, or Frosty The Snowman… :o)
Larry,
If only you were on the board of some of the major finance companies now defunct who lost/stole billions of our money !
Sage advice mate ! You’re on track with humanity ! Keep it coming !
Merry Christmas and Happy New year to you and your family !
Mike from Oz
Hiya Larry
Love your books and your style sir.
I think you are forgetting Rule #6
Regards
Gary
OK, this needs a story. Two prime ministers were sitting in a room. Suddenly the door burst open and an aide ran in with an urgent message, tearing her hair out with anxiety. The host Prime Minister calmly turned to her and said, “Melissa, don’t forget Rule Number 6.”
Immediately the aide relaxed, smiled and left the room.
A few minutes later a junior minister rushed into the room, all worked up about some issue. “Alastair,” cautioned the Prime Minister, “Don’t forget Rule Number 6.” At which the minister too was pacified and departed cheerily. It happened a third time, as it does in such stories, with the same result.
The visiting Prime Minister was fascinated by these encounters. “This is amazing,” he said to his host. “You must tell me, what is Rule Number 6?”
“Oh, that’s a simple one,” said the resident PM. “Rule Number 6: Don’t take yourself so goddamn seriously.”
“That’s a great rule,” said the visitor. “I must remember that. And tell me, what are the other rules?”
The host smiled. “There aren’t any,” he replied.
hi Larry;
I learn something new (and something we all know from how we were raised, and grew to think it no longer applied to modern life!) from you each time I read or hear you.
Why can’t I get your books at Borders in Singapore? I found one of your books in Manila earlier this year.
Regards,
Rick
Thanks Larry for your down to earth insight. I believe we all know deep down what the right approach is with spending our money, however, some of us are letting ourselves be brainwashed by the commercial industry. This is a very stupid trap that we let ourselves fall into. I think your advice is bang on! I will doing exactly as you advise and if people don’t understand that I am not going in debt to buy them a Christmas present then I will know they really don’t appreciate me and only look towards another person to see what they will “present” them with. I will have I better Christmas this year because I will not go in debt to please others. You can always do other things for people other than buying them a gift. This year I am going to cook them their favorite dish.
Merry Christmas!
I’m giving advice this year.
AMEN, Larry!! Most of us really do have too much stuff!! I suggested no gift exchange for adult extended family this year and some family members looked at me like I was crazy!! Interestingly enough, it was those who have the most stuff!! Compromise – picking names with a dollar limit on the gift. I can live with that.
Larry, I love that you encourage people to honor their word in terms of bill paying and debt. It seems that we’re living in a society that encourages stiffing people. There’s no shame in running up credit cards, buying a house you clearly can’t afford, etc. and just walking away from the debt. It’s disgraceful. I recently learned in my city that we have a tax fogiveness programs – can’t afford to pay your taxes – no problem. Let the other people make up for it when they do the right thing and honor their bills. THIS IS CRAZY! No wonder we’re in the crappy shape we are in! The slackers are taking over!! Whew – just had to get that out. Thanks for the opportunity to vent!