I am about to give you the two most critical tools ever created to help you achieve the life you always wanted. Whether it be financial stability, happiness in your relationships, weight control, goal achievement, you name it, these two tools are the key. These tools won’t cost you a thing and chances are that you have lots of them lying around the house in most of your drawers. You use both of them every day and yet don’t understand they make the difference in success and failure in almost every situation. I even hesitate to mention because I know the minute I do, most of you will say something like “Oh my God, he’s got to be kidding me! How ridiculous!” Okay, enough . . . here you go!
The two critical tools for success in all areas of life: pen and paper.
I know, I know. You already groaned. You think I am being overly dramatic. That’s fine with me, but let me explain what I have discovered and then you can decide.
I have yet to ever work with one person on their finances that had a written list of how much money they had to work with (their assets) and a written list of the money they owed (their liabilities.) Yep, not one. Guess it was too much trouble.
People tell me “I know where I am! I know what I want!” Not buying it. Show me. Show me your list. Show me your piece of paper and then I’ll believe you. If you are working from thought alone it’s not tangible, it’s just an idea. Write it down and make it real.
Do this: Get out several sheets of paper and a pen. Use one sheet of paper per area of your life; money, health (weight), career, relationships (one for spouse, one for each kid, one for friends, parents, boss, coworkers and one for customers.) Make another sheet for your life in general. Use as many sheets as you need to get the job done, after all, it’s your life. On the left side of the sheet write down the way your life is in that area. For instance: On your Health/Weight sheet put your weight, the time you spend exercising every day, how much you sleep, how much television you watch, the number of times you eat and how many calories, etc. On your Money sheet, write down your current money situation as it exists today in terms of cash on hand, who you owe and how much, savings, investments, etc. Follow this process for every area of your life. Think of if like preparing a State Of The Union look at your own life.
Then on the right side of the sheet write down how you would like your life to be. Just look at what you’ve already written about how it is and decide how you want it to be. If you’re happy with it the way it is, and you should be in some of the areas, then you won’t have much to write. If there are areas where you aren’t that proud of the way your life looks, then you are going to have a lot of writing to do when it comes to how you want your life to look.
Go through this process for every area of your life. Simply figure out “where you are” and then figure out “where you want to be” and put it on paper.
Then the good part: Look at both sides of the paper analyzing where you are and where you want to be and figure out what you are going to give up to get from where you are to where you want to be. That’s right: I want you to figure out what you are going to GIVE UP. That’s what achieving success always comes down to: giving up. You don’t GET rich. You GIVE UP what’s making you broke. You don’t GET skinny, you GIVE UP what’s making you fat. You don’t GET happy, you GIVE UP what’s making you unhappy. It’s a new way of thinking most folks have never considered. So stop thinking about getting and begin thinking of giving up.
Now do it. Don’t argue with the process. Don’t offer yourself any excuses. Don’t say “this won’t work” because I know you haven’t done it before so you don’t have the right to say it does or doesn’t work until you’ve tried it. So do it.
I will make you a guarantee: if you get out those two critical tools, the pen and paper and go to work as I have described here you will move to the top three percent of all people simply by taking the time to write down your goals. By writing down your current situation, you will have done more personal assessment in just a few hours than most people do in a lifetime. You will also have a written list of things you can take action on that will move you from where you are to the place you really want to be.
There you go: a simple plan to turn your life around and all it took was a pen and some paper.
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“This post was originally published for my weekly column at DebtKid.com. You can find the original post here.”
Larry, Great blog post. I just took a Dale Carnegie workshop it was great. I believe in all your thoughts, it’s usually the same common sense ideas time after time. My wife and I are doing well and take responsibility for everything we do. You can always tell the people who get it and the ones who like to blame others for problems. I still find it amazing how simple and common sense you message is and how some people “Just don’t get it”. Thanks again Larry.
Larry, I really enjoy your books and blog, but here and now you’ve just based your post on a popular psychological myth. There are no studies, as far as I can tell, that state that “Most studies tell us that the three percent with written goals achieve more than the other ninety-seven percent combined.” If I’m wrong, please provide some bibligraphy reference.
The story you’re stating is a popular myth among the motivation gurus, but the original research it was supposed to be based on has never happened. Which is ironic, because writing down goals acutally does help in getting them, but there are no such huge and show-offish examples as in the story. It’s a moderate improvement – still valuable, just not as showy.
So all for the technique, just not for the story behind it. While it’s not the only technique for increasing motivation, it is simple and useful, and so very valuable.
Btw. The original story behind the myth is well described in Richard Wiseman’s ’59 seconds’ (that’s the UK title, not sure if it’s called the same in the States).
Love that you do what you do. Always open to hear your take on things. Great insight.
Great blog Larry. With a new year right around the corner, I appreciate the timely suggestion and the “where I am/where I want to be” approach. I am going to court tomorrow for my divorce hearing, the new year will truly be a new start for my daughter and me. This advice is going to be very helpful as I assess where I want to be and let go of where I have been!
this website clims to debunk that study existed.
http://rapidbi.com/management/harvard-yale-written-goals-study-fact-or-fiction/
That being said I don’t agree with the author’s assertion that anyone who quotes this study should be overall discounted. Not everyone is going to say every thing right in their lives and while they should look into this, they may have a lot to say that is worthwhile. I count Larry as a guy who is worth listening to.
Daniel, as far as I understand, the person you’re quoting doesn’t say to discount the trainer who quotes the study, just to be more sceptical about what they’re saying, as any other examples they give might be similarly flawed.
Personally, I tend to prefer an even simpler approach. If someone says they base what they’re saying on research (which I wholeheartedly support), I want them to be able to provide bibliographical reference. Not necessary at the moment they’re quoting, it’s not like people need to memorise such stuff, but if it’s supposed to be an argument, the person using it should be able to back it up with a proper reference within a couple of weeks at most. If not, then I discard the “backed by scientific research” argument as unsubstantiated.
You can get caught up in the validity of the study and miss the point which is what most people do. Is society 48% obese or 53% obese? Is that the point? Or do people eat too much and don’t exercise enough? I think that’s the real point.
Focus on the message of the blog and move on.
Larry I agree with you. The main message is “X” but some people will always argue the opposite. Just like the message about “Don’t use credit cards” The point is a lot of people don’t know how much in the hole they are getting. I’ve paid off my credit card every month my entire life and get some perks out of it. The message is to the people that have no idea how much interest they pay every month.
Larry as usual you are spot on and I agree 100%. It must be frustrating for you to read feedback from someone like Artur Krol who will simply never get the message! Get a life Artur!
Donna, I agree.
Larry,
I have been doing this for years in spiral bound and it works!
When I first began to look into real estate a friend told me that until I wrote them down they were just a dreams, smoke in the air, untouchable, changeable and temporary. Writing it down makes it a goal, something tangible, something you can see everyday and be reminded. Who cares what the statistics say? We all get sidetraked, bogged down and lazy. We need reminders that are constant and that don’t change to keep us on track.
You guys are missing the real point here. What helps us by doing this exercise (and the most important part of that), IMO, is to decide on what to GIVE UP. We always want more, more food, more money, more stuff, more fun etc. and it is an obsession in North America! People here call entry-level SUV’s ‘small trucks’, don’t feel full unless they eat double-burger combos, buy too much house and can’t get themselves fit inside that etc. When I compared it to the rest of the world I’ve seen so far, what we think we deserve is far, far exaggerated.
I just realized that I have become a victim of this perspective. When I did what Larry said and wrote my goals WITH the things that I need to give up to reach them, that was a real paradigm shift.
Larry, you must absolutely put more emphasis in this approach in your communications. This is a great eye opener.
Love this. Doesn’t really matter what study it did or didn’t come from. It works. I know that when I keep a simple record of my spending, I spend less money…when I keep a food journal, I am more accountable to good habits. It works 100% of the time I do it….there’s your study. 🙂
Pen and paper – go figure! I love, love, love the simplicity of it all – and the power of it all – knowledge = power! Putting it all out on paper makes it real – once you know your current reality, it’s easier to make a plan, work the plan and create the life and business you want. Amen to your logic and wisdom, Larry. As always, thank you!
Pat Mussieux